Step 1: Try to conceive for almost a year. Don’t tell anyone except close family.
Step 2: Have multiple doctor appointments that include many scans and scripts for Clomid.
Step 3: Discover that your tubes are blocked. Have a laparascopy to clear them.
Step 4: Try more Clomid.
Step 5: Come out the closet.
Step 6: Have a scan that shows you have no viable eggs and your lining is shit.
Step 7: Psych yourself up for maybe having to move from your doctor to a fertility specialist if your next cycle of double dose Clomid doesn’t work.
Step 8: Fill out many many application forms for procedures, medication and scans applicable to Infertility that may or may not be paid for out of the Prescribed Minimum Benefit. Send to medical aid for approval.
Step 9: Receive approval from the medical aid much to the astonishment of your doctor who told you medical aid would not pay for it.
Step 10: Wait for your period so you can start the next round of double dose Clomid.
Step 11: Pee on a stick the day your period is due. Expect it to be negative
Step 12: Make sure you are sitting down when you take a look at the test and two lines show up!
So, I wrote this post 4 weeks ago, when we first peed on that stick. We didnt want to say anything until we had been for our first scan which was this morning!
Baby aka #theSQL, is perfect, measuring 7w5d and has a beautiful heartbeat of 144bpm.
Im already showing (have been since about 5 weeks!). Im feeling ok-ish, started with morning sickness last week and it mostly hits me at night, Im also exhausted all the time, which I wasnt with Aaron at all. Oh! My boobs are already growing! WooHoo for bigger boobs!
We are so so so over the moon, it still doesn’t really feel real…
Common symptoms of PCOS include:
I suffer from all the above in varying degrees.
1. Thank Gd for Clomid as that keeps my periods fairly regular. 2. Infertility, DUH! 3. I am not too hairy but I definitely have a few stray hairs that shouldn’t be growing where they are growing, lots of tweezing and waxing ensues. But its 4. that I have a major problem with at the moment.
I have always suffered from spots, I cant say acne, as to me acne is constant and many pimple all over the face. I do not get acne as such, what I get are 2 or 3 pimples on my face, usually around my nostrils and on my chin. They start off mild, blind pimples and a lot of the time the go away but when they dont… Oh boy, they get huge and red and sore, I look like I have been stung by a swarm of bees and did I mention they are sore?
The last two months have been hectic, as one disappears another takes its place, right now I have a large red patch below and to the right of my nostril, this one is blind and freaking sore, I have three, evenly spaced spots across my chin, one smack bang in the middle and one on either side of my mouth.
I also have two small cysts/pimples on my panty line and these ones take forever to go away because of the constant pressure of my underwear. I have been getting these cysts since I started getting my periods 17 years ago. They are the bain of my existence.
I can deal with all the symptoms, I can even deal with red spots on my face, what I cant deal with is the pain! I live on pain killers. I’m grouchy and irritable and touchy and miserable.
I have tried face washes, supplements, facials, reflexology, the works! The only way to stop the spots is to either fall pregnant or go back on my pill… Need I say more?
Thank you for showing us so much support.
Thank you for lending me your shoulders.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for not judging.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for the hugs.
*WARNING: this post contains discussion on human reproduction, the female reproductive system and trying to get pregnant. If you have a sensitive constitution stop reading now.
Yesterday I went to see my gynecologist, Dr H. I made the appointment at the end of my last cycle when, once again, we were not pregnant.
It turns out that day 12 is an ideal day for a scan to check what is going on.
We are on a Clomid cycle, 1 x 10mg tablet for 5 days. At this stage there should be one good egg, mature and ready to travel down the fallopian tube, the endometrial lining should be 8mm thick and I should not still be spotting.
We found at least 8 medium sized follicles (none of which look like they will mature), the lining was only 3.7mm thick and yes, Im still spotting…
The result of the scan? Once again I am classified as polycystic. This would also explain the weight gain and the large family of pimples that have taken up residence on my face.
Dr H also told me that based on the scan yesterday its not likely at all that this month would result in a pregnancy, even if we managed to fertalise a substandard egg, it doesn’t have any lining to attach itself to.
The solution? A round of double dose Clomid, 2 x 10mg tablets for 5 days and a scan on day 12 of my next cycle.
If the double dose works and the egg is good and the lining is good then we are A for Away. If it looks good but I dont fall pregnant we will try the double dose of Clomid for another 2 cycles before resorting to sending me to a specialist.
If the double dose doesnt work then I am leaving my amazing Dr H and moving on to a fertility specialist.
I really really hope the double dose works. Moving on to specialists is scary, it makes it even more real than it already is. Im also not sure how far I am willing to take this, I cant picture myself doing IVF, but who knows, if thats where this journey is taking us then maybe I will be able to take that step. I suppose only time will tell.
Again, hurry up and wait…
For 12 months Paul and I have been trying to have another baby.
There I said it!
The reason I started protecting the post on this topic is that in Jewish tradition, you don’t tell anyone that you are pregnant until you are three months along. I figured if I started talking about trying and then stopped talking about it then it would be obvious and what would the point be etc..
The reason I am ‘coming out the closet’ is that we have been trying for 12 months! A whole YEAR! The support I have had from the people who have read the posts has been amazing and such a source of strength for me.
I need more of that support, I need to know that there are people out there who are rooting for us. I also need other women (and men) who are struggling to know that they are not alone. If reading my posts and the responses to them gives even one person a sense of comfort in any way then that makes me happy.
So, here is a list of the (now) unprotected posts.
Working on a new post as you read this too…
Thank you for coming on my journey with me!