The dark

My mind has been dark the last few weeks.

A new year and so much to look forward to and yet I feel like I have been wading through quicksand or stuck in a thick soupy fog.

Its been 10 years since my dad died, 2 years since my grandmother passed away and a year since my brother left us.

It feels like just yesterday, like a blink and here I am.

My uncle has cancer.  He cant beat it, no matter how hard he tries or how much we will it.

I feel like curling up in bed, pulling the covers over my head and never coming out.

And then I look at my husband, my beautiful children, my amazing life and I get up,  I look to the sun and I carry on!

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” – Helen Keller

Just call me Rapunzel

Cancer is something that effects everyone.  Every single person I know has a story to tell.  A family member, a friend, a loss or a story of survival.

Its been just over 10 years since I lost my dad.  I think about him every single day.  I sometimes even pick up the phone to call and tell him something and then realise I cant.

Paul also lost his dad to cancer.  Our fathers are indirectly responsible for how we met 🙂

My uncle in the UK is fighting a battle with cancer.

For the longest time I have felt like I need to DO something, something tangable, something with meaning.

Last night, waiting for the baby to fall asleep, the idea of the CANSA shavathon popped into my head.  Its something I say I will do, at least spray my hair, every year and for one reason or another I never do it.

I guess I’ve never been ready to do it, and spraying my hair seemed like a waste.

But now I am ready.

The minimum length requirement to donate hair to make wigs is 22cm.  My hair is about 44cm!

My brother in law and his amazing fiance are getting married in April, Im pretty sure Megs would not like my shaved head in her wedding photos and I dont particularly want a shaved head at the wedding, so Im only going to do the big cut in May 2012.

Im going to put a ticker up with a countdown.  Im hoping I can get a few of you to join me or to make a pledge towards CANSA when I cut my hair.

Please take a look here for more information on CANSA and the Shavathon

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