Whenever I hear of a friend or acquaintance who has fallen pregnant I am over the moon happy for them. Truly. I get so excited. I practically do handstands and cartwheels for them. I love listening to pregnancy stories and birth stories. I think it is such a blessing to share in these miracles as women, friends and sisters.
But…
A small not so small part of me stamps her foot, pouts her lips and whines ‘why not me?’
Why is it taking so long? Why did I have to try for 6 months before being told to take Clomid? Why did I take the Clomid anyway because my damn tubes were blocked so the Clomid did jack shit? Why? Why? Why?
I know my chances have increased 100% since having the lap in December and that this month might very well be THE month. I know I have no right to whine and complain, 9 months is nothing, there are women who wait 9 years or more to have a baby. 9 months really isn’t that long. I know that I am so blessed to have a son already!!
Maybe I just needed to vent, get it out there and let go of it so that I can move on with trying to fall pregnant.
As I stand now I am in the dreaded two week wait (2WW). Hold thumbs!
Everything you describe feeling sounds perfectly normal to me…. it is like when people loose weight… I am sincerely happy for them… truly… but why can’t I *also* have that? 🙂
I have no clever words of wisdom…. I won’t tell you to hang in there, or that it will come…. I can tell you that you do have a gorgeous son and a husband who clearly adores you and that is all pretty cool.
Lots of love darling. x
Thank you!!!
I hear ya.
It was a while for us too, before we called it off. Its months since then, but I still feel what you feel.
Keep the faith. I’m sorry this is hard. I hate that people i love who deserve the joy of new children dont get it (Im talking about you here, Angel…you know my feelings on the whole thing).. Gina, keep the faith.
always believe in angels. and angels will come X